Yay! Go Sport!

This week we've all been laid low with a fiendish combination of runny noses, sore throats, and pink eye, which basically means the entire apartment, including its occupants, are disgusting. And covered in used tissues & antibiotic ointment. Luckily, we've got the Olympics. Yeah, I'm one of those people. Summer or winter, I get giddy … Continue reading Yay! Go Sport!

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Bats Aren’t Bugs

Things I've explained to my three year old today: Don't eat dirt. Heat. Like, the Platonic ideal of heat. I resisted telling him, "To burn all this bullshit to the ground!" But I thought it. People don't like it when you spit in their mouths. Yes, even if you keep asking. What blackmail is, the … Continue reading Bats Aren’t Bugs

Invisible Pants

{As we drive down the freeway, from his position drinking milk in the unreachable back car seat, the Kraken decides to make an announcement.} Kraken: I made a mess! {A pause, as I ponder the ultimate helplessness of my position} Me: ...How big of a mess? A little mess? Kraken: A big mess!  {Another pause, while I imagine how much … Continue reading Invisible Pants