Today's conversation with the Kraken: why is it more comfortable to lie on soft carpet than a bowl of cantaloupe? Discuss.
I was showing my mom my new dress yesterday, which is covered in dinosaurs (because I aspire to be Ms. Frizzle), and she asked how on earth I found such gloriousness. "The internet, of course!" I replied, because let's all be honest here: the information age is a pretty sweet one if you aspire to … Continue reading The Internet Gets Me
In order to understand this story, you should understand that my uncle is infinitely cooler and more in-the-know than your average 23 year old. I genuinely don't understand how, exactly, he manages that, but trust me, if you ever get the chance, you want him as your tour guide. I should also mention he's probably reading this, … Continue reading That Time I Didn’t Join A Cult
A friend contacted me, dealing with some mental health issues. That's scary, and I've been battling my brain as long as I can remember, but I think mostly she wanted someone to cheer her up. At least, I hope so, because otherwise I was a very bad friend. Me: I feel like I should give you … Continue reading We’re All Mad Here
Okay, so I'm not really old. I'm in my mid-30s, which by any standard outside the Middle Ages is perfectly reasonable, and since the Middle Ages had absolutely nothing to do with reason, we're going to ignore that part. However, I do enjoy gloating over all the things that I know about, that kids these days will … Continue reading I’m Old.
"We need to clean! This place is filthy. This house is a mess." The 3 year old is officially tidier than I am.
The Kraken has a second friend! Friend #2! It's a minor miracle, you guys! Okay, actually, he claims he has a friend. I'm still not 100% convinced the other kid knows they're friends, but I'm not about to burst his tiny, socially confused bubble. It's okay goblin. You'll figure out how basic social interactions work eventually. And … Continue reading The Economy Depends on Dinosaurs