An Islamic Propsal

There are a lot of people around lately who are confounded and confused. Yes, radical (and possibly brainwashed/insane) people ran planes into the Twin Towers. Does that mean that all people from the Middle East, those who practice Islam, or who ride planes should therefore be held responsible? Yes, this is yet another POV on the “9/11 Mosque” or whatever they’re calling it today.

snakes are like terrorists on planes

Obligatory Snakes on a Plane reference

However! I don’t particularly feel the need to defend the basic Constitutional rights of Muslims to build a Mosque that would spread understanding and peace in an area that could use some healing. That’s obvious, and obvious is boring. What I want to discuss are the nutters who think that this is a bad idea, because I feel they’re a much-maligned, misunderstood group. I mean, if you pass a guy on the sidewalk talking to himself, do you think he’s a bad person? No, you feel sorry for him. Or he’s talking on one of those phone headsets that just make people look crazy. But for the purposes of my metaphor, we’ll assume the former.

What I’m saying here is that these poor prevaricators, these sad sycophants, these dundering dummies are just trying to interpret the world the best they can. To whit:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Now, you or I may read the First Amendment and think it’s pretty clear on this topic. Religion and speech are both protected, as is peaceable assembly. A bunch of Muslims wanting a new space to gather and spread a message of peace just blocks away from a terrible, violent tragedy like 9/11 is not only protected, but directly encouraged by the Founding Fathers. I mean, it couldn’t get any more straightforward than that, could it?

He would have been on the Muslims' side if he had been able to sober up from his opium den debaucheries in France

Obligatory Founding Father referece

Wrong! For these confused conundrums it’s deeply confusing. I mean, for starters it says that laws shouldn’t respect the establishment of religion. All this old-timey talk is just making this whole thing one big misunderstanding; we should “translate” the Bill of Rights using the Urban Dictionary to help give these misguided misogynists a break.

Then we have the age-old problem of education. I mean, sure these confused constitutional contortionists largely claim to come from Ivy League schools, but those schools are terrible – they obviously don’t teach any world history or religion courses, leaving them to fend for themselves. No wonder they seem to think that Islam isn’t really a real religion, and that everyone with a turban is hiding a grenade under there. Do we blame the illiterate inner-city youth for not knowing the ABC’s? No! We blame the society that allowed him to slip through the cracks. These are men and women crying out for an education, men and women we have collectively failed.

Finally, there’s the maturity issue. I happen to be in my late 20’s, and can see how there are highly-charged feelings on both sides of this issue that should be appropriately addressed, without denying any Constitutionally-mandated rights. The pedantic peddlers of puerile petulance who are against the “Ground Zero Mosque” just haven’t gotten there yet. There are many developmental stages that every person has to go through before they can understand the feelings and perspectives of others, and apparently these guys just got hung up around preschool without anyone to help them through to the next phase of development and growth. They should be pitied, not scorned!

So I say unto you, reasonable citizens of America, don’t mock the inveterate idiots who think that they can (or should) stop Islamic Mosque being built near Ground Zero. Instead, pity them. Talk to them, don’t turn your eyes away, even if they are yelling loopy things about the End of the World and Obama being born in Kenya. Remember, they have mothers too.

However, just like any other legally insane citizen, I’m not sure that they should have voting rights.

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  1. Pingback: Legalize Love, Legalize Gay Marriage |Glint of Light

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