The Kraken made pretend houses out of bubbles in the bath. Then he poured water over them, gleefully saying, "House burns down! House burns down!" I'm thinking I need to keep an eye on our lighters...
"You're my super hero, because you play with my boogers!" -my child, who has a cold [Ed. note: I was wiping his nose, not actually playing with his boogers. That would be gross. I can't believe my life has come to a point where I need to clarify these things]
"What are we having for dinner tonight, oh light of my life?" "Mary Poppins!" [Pause for a beat as we consider whether our offspring has embraced wholesale cannibalism] "And what does Mary Poppins taste like?" [Please don't say something creepy... please don't say something creepy...] "Spaghetti and meatballs!" "...Oh."
Me: I'm sad. 3-year-old: Oh! I've got an idea! Scooter!! "I'm having a sword fight just like Mary Poppins!" **mashing his biggest metal truck against my butt** "It won't fit, Mama! It won't fit!"