I’m a huge Shakespeare nerd. No really, I used to carry the Collected Works around the back yard, declaiming monologues when I was in the 2nd grade (my Mom has pictures). I had no idea what they meant of course, but they sounded so good! At any rate, it’s only appropriate that I start this blog with a quote from Big Willy himself:

Touch: I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called ‘the retort courteous.’ If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is called the ‘quip modest.’ If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the ‘reply churlish.’ If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the ‘reproof valiant:’ if again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the ‘countercheck quarrelsome’: and so to the ‘lie circumstantial,’ and the ‘lie direct.’

Okay, that’s way funnier on stage; it loses something without a lot of silly prancing about. Trust me though, it’s hilarious. Picture a totally wacky fencing lesson. In the forest. In the middle of a three-way wedding. That until recently involved cross-dressing.

…yes, I realize. Shakespeare was weird.