Invisible Pants

{As we drive down the freeway, from his position drinking milk in the unreachable back car seat, the Kraken decides to make an announcement.}

Kraken: I made a mess!

{A pause, as I ponder the ultimate helplessness of my position}

Me: …How big of a mess? A little mess?

Kraken: big mess! 

{Another pause, while I imagine how much of a car a child can cover in milk while strapped into a car seat}

Me: {Unsure what a real grownup would do at this juncture.} Well… uh… try not to make it any bigger?

Kraken: Okaaaaay… {He’s not willing to commit to anything.} 

{A long pause, while we both contemplate the future.}

Kraken: {Surprised} Oh! My pants are still here! They are not invisible!

Me: ……

Kraken: The milk was not magic milk! It did not make my pants disappear!

{I spend the rest of the drive wondering if he was actually just conducting a high-level physics experiment involving the invisibility properties of lactose. I’m reluctantly impressed.} 

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