{Bath time.} Me: Please stop splashing me. Kraken: Why? Me: {So used to this question I answer automatically} Because I'll get wet. Kraken: If you get wet, what will happen? Me: {Is he hoping it'll be an explosion or something?} When I try to cuddle you you'll say, "Oh no Mamma, you're wet and cold!" Kraken: {Becoming serious} I would not say that Mamma. … Continue reading How To Be Polite
Experiences
Am I Becoming A Witch?
This story begins before Valentine's Day. I came home, and my sweet uncle who's way too generous with his time and resources (which I take full advantage of) had bought an enormous bouquet of red roses from Whole Foods, because apparently the Kraken saw them and insisted I needed one. They sat on the mantle … Continue reading Am I Becoming A Witch?
Killing It
So! Day three of single parenting, and I'm obviously killing it! And by "single parenting" I of course mean "spending as much time as possible with my parents helping me," and by "killing it" I mean "spending as much time as possible with my parents helping me." But at least I fed them dinner last night! AND … Continue reading Killing It
A Man, A Plan, A Canal: Panama!
If you've never been alone with a tiny person who would be genuinely thrilled to superglue him/herself to your leg, then you don't know the particular horror of the next sentence: "I'm going to Panama for a week." Obviously there are plenty of people out there who parent full-time solo, and they are the hardest … Continue reading A Man, A Plan, A Canal: Panama!
Somebody Send an Exorcist
I had a major mom-win this week: Ghost Repellent Spray. Let me explain. Ever since the Kraken could talk, he's been talking about the ghosts that live in his bedroom walls. He throws them into conversation matter-of-factly, the same way that he mentions there's a dog down the street. When this happens we work really, … Continue reading Somebody Send an Exorcist
Bats Aren’t Bugs
Things I've explained to my three year old today: Don't eat dirt. Heat. Like, the Platonic ideal of heat. I resisted telling him, "To burn all this bullshit to the ground!" But I thought it. People don't like it when you spit in their mouths. Yes, even if you keep asking. What blackmail is, the … Continue reading Bats Aren’t Bugs
Glint of Light 