me: I think we should register for these: fiance: those are creepy me: I know! 😀 don't you want to know if anyone would spend $250 to give us a collection of creepy noses?! fiance: nah, I'm good me: see, this is why it's a good thing you're marrying me you'll learn way more about your loved ones than you … Continue reading Reasons To Marry Me
Geekery
Lies I Will Someday Tell My Children
Broccoli is actually just an extremely tiny species of tree. The bigger version was once the main staple in the brontosaurus’s diet. The brontosaurus was so a real dinosaur. (So were triceratops!) College is basically like Hogwarts, but they don’t start teaching you the cool spells until after you declare your major. Their godmother really … Continue reading Lies I Will Someday Tell My Children
The Mad-est of Men
Watching Mad Men last night (reviewing the last season before starting in on the new one to remind myself what happened – DON’T TELL ME ANY SPOILERS) I had a sudden and irrevocable realization. I am basically Don Draper. Let’s review the facts, shall we? He has a ridiculous orange chair at his desk. I … Continue reading The Mad-est of Men
Ottoman Adjustments
Whilst doing my taxes (side note: screw you, TurboTax) I came upon what I like to refer to as “Awesome Adjustments” or “Shit Cool People Deduct.” Reward from a Crime Hotline? First off, it seems like that shouldn’t even be deducted, because that’s like punishing someone for solving crimes. Secondly, what kinds of rewards are … Continue reading Ottoman Adjustments
Haiku to the Abandoned Cookie on My Countertop
Decapitation.Oh shortbread triceratops,What happened to you?
A Big Thank You To The Girls
I hated high school. Just like every other human on the planet (Or at least those lucky enough to live in first world countries where things like “high school” are an option instead of “having babies when you’re 12, strapping them to your back, and going to pick soy beans for ten hours without a … Continue reading A Big Thank You To The Girls
Glint of Light 