Things I've explained to my three year old today: Don't eat dirt. Heat. Like, the Platonic ideal of heat. I resisted telling him, "To burn all this bullshit to the ground!" But I thought it. People don't like it when you spit in their mouths. Yes, even if you keep asking. What blackmail is, the … Continue reading Bats Aren’t Bugs
Book Club!
I mentioned to a MomFriend about how many books that I read when I was younger mean totally different things to me, now that I'm a parent, and she said we should keep a list and make a book club. But I tried to organize a book club once before, and found out that it's … Continue reading Book Club!
Dinosaurs and CDs
{The Handsome Husband comes home from dropping the Kraken off at preschool.} HH: {pause} They were playing with these... things... I believe they're called... CDs? Me: What? HH: Yeah, they're these shiny disc things. Apparently they make really good frisbees? None of them had ever seen one before, but they're experimenting with them. I believe when I left they … Continue reading Dinosaurs and CDs
How To Have A Perfect Valentine’s Day
It's Valentine's Day, and that can only mean one thing: time to get super smug about having the best Valentine's Days ever. Okay, sure, there have been a couple of duds, and at least one flaming disaster, but in general? I rule at this whole heart-shaped business. Don't believe me? One year that will go … Continue reading How To Have A Perfect Valentine’s Day
I Run Into Walls
When I was little, I considered myself to be pretty damn graceful, mostly because I had relatively good reflexes, so I tended to get hurt, like, 10% less than my friends. And because I liked to climb on things, which obviously only graceful people do! Duh!! No idea where I came up with that one, but I … Continue reading I Run Into Walls
Invisible Pants
{As we drive down the freeway, from his position drinking milk in the unreachable back car seat, the Kraken decides to make an announcement.} Kraken: I made a mess! {A pause, as I ponder the ultimate helplessness of my position} Me: ...How big of a mess? A little mess? Kraken: A big mess! {Another pause, while I imagine how much … Continue reading Invisible Pants
Glint of Light 